An Answer and a Whole Lot of Questions

We’re now on our 4th cycle at our new duty station and a lot has been happening. Back in November/December I did a new round of blood work and that has finally lead to an answer. It is somewhat relieving to have an answer after 2.5 years of questions, but the answer I received is not one I was excited to get. What we found out is that I have a low AMH/low ovarian reserve.

The news came as quite a shock and while I didn’t really understand what exactly it meant, I knew it wasn’t good. After doing some research and talking to a few people this is what I’ve come up with… for whatever reason I do not have nearly as many eggs left as a typical person my age. My ovaries are functioning as a person 10 years older than me and I am quickly nearing the end of my ability to conceive. We think there is still a small amount of time left, but I can not wait another year for IVF. So, we have to decide (quickly) what we want to do. Is IVF something we even want to go through? Do we want to just stop now and focus on adopting?

The longer I sat with this new information, the more I knew that IVF is the route I want to go. I strongly felt that if I did not try IVF once I would regret it and I would always have that “what if…” in my head. After we both talked it through, we have decided to move forward with  one round of IVF before moving to adoption. Our biggest issue now is timing. Infertility in the military is very frustrating. For various reasons, we have decided to do IVF out of a clinic in Chicago. It is an incredible opportunity to do it at this clinic, but it puts  another road block in our path. It’s a delicate balance between waiting too long and finding an ideal time for me to fly out to Chicago for a month. Because of military and another looming deployment, my husband will most likely not be able to join me for any of the time in Chicago. So it makes it really hard to add another month of separation onto about a year coming up. I do not want to be gone for a second longer than I need to, but I am terrified if we push it off that it will be too late.

We have asked both doctors (mine here and the one at the clinic in Chicago) and everyone says the sooner the better, but they cannot tell me for sure if waiting will be ok or not. Who knows, I may not even respond well to IVF medication as it currently is, so the longer I wait the worse it could get. I think that’s the hardest part, no one can tell us when my time will run out and we can make all sorts of guesses if it’s ok to push IVF a little bit or not but the reality is we just don’t know. We have to decide for ourselves if we are willing to risk it and wait or not, and I just don’t have that answer right now. What is one extra month in the long run if it means I can get pregnant?

This month I am doing another round of ovulation induction and adding in Menopur with my Follistim to hopefully slow down ovulation a bit. I feel like I am stabbing myself in the stomach with these injections for nothing when I ovulate as early as I have been. Eggs need enough time to properly mature to be viable for a pregnancy. My doctor says it is still possible for me to get pregnant from an ovulation induction cycle, so we will continue with these cycles until we pick a date for IVF. It’s going to be a long road, and I feel like we now have more questions based on this answer and I don’t know that anyone can really answer them.

 

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